


Fear

by icaruslaughed



Series: Suptober20 [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, POV Sam Winchester, im so sorry, narrative of 15x09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icaruslaughed/pseuds/icaruslaughed
Summary: day 21 of suptober
Series: Suptober20 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955047
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Fear

Fear and hope: opposite ends of the spectrum most people would call humanity. It’s possible to be hopeful and still be a little scared. It’s possible to be fucking terrified and still have a spark of hope hidden deep within. Hell, it’s possible to have nothing but hope. In each and every variation of those circumstances, there’s still a chance the battle can be won. To have nothing but fear? The battle’s lost before it’s even begun. Fear without hope is, was, and will always be the downfall of humanity. Chuck knows this, because it’s the law he helped Create. 

Sam knows this because the bone-crushing fear settling upon every inch of his soul tells him its truth. The truth.  _ You just lost. _ But he put up a damn good fight. Right? It’s not like it’ll matter in the future. If they win. No,  _ when _ they win. They have to win because it just...they do. He screams those thoughts to Chuck and even then he doesn’t find himself believing them, not entirely, because that spark of hope, the one that kept him going all these years, had just been extinguished.

He will lose, he will. He’ll lose the battle because that's what Chuck showed him in his future and God can lie, just like demons lie, but they both know to tell the truth when it’ll hurt the most. He’ll lose Dean and he’ll lose Cas and he’ll lose Eileen- 

\--Where’s Eileen?

Shut down in a broom closet. Whatever that means.--

He and Dean are destined to go out bloody no matter what, he’s always known that, but seeing it and being forced to come to terms with it if he wants to even survive is enough to convince him to abandon all hope. So he’ll deny it. He has to, if he wants to keep his hope. Not like there’s any left but fake it ‘til you make it, right? So he promises to never go down that road.

But he will. Chuck will make sure of it.

So when the time comes for him to make the choice of when and how they go out, he just can’t. Sam sinks to his knees and he tells himself it’s the pain from his shoulder but it’s not, it’s not,  _ it’s not _ . 

And then it’s gone. Any spark of hope he ever had. And he can’t even bring himself to do anything but watch as the scene unfolds.

Chuck crushes the ball that Dean and Cas had.

Dean practically spits in the face of God.

Chucks fucks off to another world.

And Sammy has nothing but fear coursing through his veins.


End file.
